[Cloud, these are intense mixed signals, and she's not sure how to take them. There's a pause before she speaks again, her eyes flicking away and then back.]
What was his end game plan? What had he spent all of this time running away from her for? What had any of it actually accomplished? So much time had been wasted on contemplation and worry, on wandering down each path within his mind and picking it apart until it was twisted and unrecognizable. So much time spent denying, spent pushing his own feelings aside in the name of protection, in the name of keeping a promise.
A promise that had been broken over and over and over again.
A promise that had been renewed and changed, molded into something different and better and stronger. A promise held by both of them.
Her life meant more than his own. Her well being, her happiness, her everything meant more to him than everything he was and everything he would ever be. Perhaps it had been the terrifying encounter with the creatures who haunted this prison they had found themselves in, or the memories that had come bubbling to the surface in the moments after that had finally shocked him into stopping, into allowing his mind to clear and those questions to stop chasing after answers he knew he would never find. Perhaps it was waking up alone, without her at his side that had finally provided him with the clarity needed to match those fragmented thoughts together.]
That's a good answer. Guess we'll have to wait until I see her again.
[She wants to ask him what he's going to do, if he's changed his mind about waiting, but she doesn't want to push him, and she's too afraid to be so blunt, anyway. What if he does want to be with her? What would that mean? What would it mean in Norfinbury, of all places?
It had been easy to agree when he'd said that now wasn't the right time. There are so many other things to think about, so many other things to focus on, and really, above all else, she just wants him to be happy. But he'd died once, and there aren't any guarantees that they'll ever actually get home. What if this is it, and they hold off forever, waiting for something that will never happen? If he actually wants this to be... something, what good reason is there for her to turn him down, especially when she's always told everyone else they should do everything they can to make things easier?
It's going to be terrible waiting for his decision. Tifa smiles again, but there's just an edge of uncertainty to it.]
I guess so. She'll be okay with whatever you decide.
[It's a little silly, talking about herself in third person, but oddly enough it makes things easier, too.]
[Truthfully, this wasn't the sort of conversation he intended to have over the tablets with however many miles were currently separating them and however many days still left to slug through until they could see each other again. She deserved far better than that, far better than being asked something so important over a cold, impersonal device. Deserved better than him, in reality, but how much longer could he use that as his only excuse, as his only line of defense?
What happened if she died tomorrow? What happened if she died and she never came back and he had to live with the knowledge that he never allowed them a chance? That he never given her a chance?
His smile is calm and reassuring in return, holding none of the uncertainty her's currently contained.]
[His smile is reassuring, and it soothes the last of her nerves. Still, she's trying not to let herself get her hopes up. She doesn't want to be disappointed.]
[Talking about these things isn't easy, so she'll take whatever break she can get. If that means they're going to continue playing the silly fortune telling game, she'll go with it.]
You make her happy, too.
[Words are really hard, so she hesitates again. It's a little strange having the conversation over the network, and she really wishes they could just speak in person. Then again, that wouldn't make any of this simpler, would it?]
And... She really cares about you.
[He knows how she feels, but that's probably as close to a flat out admission as she's going to get.]
[There it is. There's the truth that he's known for so long put into actual words and spoken in her voice. There's something about the way those words hit his ears, something about the melodic way they repeat over and over within his mind that causes his heart to skip a beat before pounding rapid fire against his ribs.
There's a pause, the smallest hint of hesitation before he speaks again, matching her wish that they could be together, that this conversation wasn't taking place over the devices but in person.]
[Her breath catches at that, and she smiles, something uncertain and shy. It's exhilarating and nerve-wracking all at once, because if he does decide he wants to be with her... It's something she's always wanted but never thought she'd get, and a part of her is afraid of screwing it up somehow. Plus, as much as she's replayed ways to tell him about her feelings over and over again, she's never really thought past that. It just never seemed like a real possibility.]
[This definitely wasn't the way he'd pictured this conversation going. In fact, in all of the many paths he'd envisioned for how this sort of thing might come about, this was never even an option.]
Want to bet?
[Either way it goes it's going to be a win for both of them, so why not up the stakes just a little?]
[Not what she was expecting at all, and she suddenly finds herself struggling to ignore the way her heart is pounding. Tifa lets out a breath, trying to think of a good response, although there really isn't one.]
Well...
[She hesitates, then continues very quietly, her smile a little goofy.]
You don't need a bet for that.
[Stupid thing to say? Probably a stupid thing to say.]
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Definitely.
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If she were here, would you tell me the same thing?
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Maybe. I... It depends on what you want.
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What was his end game plan? What had he spent all of this time running away from her for? What had any of it actually accomplished? So much time had been wasted on contemplation and worry, on wandering down each path within his mind and picking it apart until it was twisted and unrecognizable. So much time spent denying, spent pushing his own feelings aside in the name of protection, in the name of keeping a promise.
A promise that had been broken over and over and over again.
A promise that had been renewed and changed, molded into something different and better and stronger. A promise held by both of them.
Her life meant more than his own. Her well being, her happiness, her everything meant more to him than everything he was and everything he would ever be. Perhaps it had been the terrifying encounter with the creatures who haunted this prison they had found themselves in, or the memories that had come bubbling to the surface in the moments after that had finally shocked him into stopping, into allowing his mind to clear and those questions to stop chasing after answers he knew he would never find. Perhaps it was waking up alone, without her at his side that had finally provided him with the clarity needed to match those fragmented thoughts together.]
That's a good answer. Guess we'll have to wait until I see her again.
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It had been easy to agree when he'd said that now wasn't the right time. There are so many other things to think about, so many other things to focus on, and really, above all else, she just wants him to be happy. But he'd died once, and there aren't any guarantees that they'll ever actually get home. What if this is it, and they hold off forever, waiting for something that will never happen? If he actually wants this to be... something, what good reason is there for her to turn him down, especially when she's always told everyone else they should do everything they can to make things easier?
It's going to be terrible waiting for his decision. Tifa smiles again, but there's just an edge of uncertainty to it.]
I guess so. She'll be okay with whatever you decide.
[It's a little silly, talking about herself in third person, but oddly enough it makes things easier, too.]
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What happened if she died tomorrow? What happened if she died and she never came back and he had to live with the knowledge that he never allowed them a chance? That he never given her a chance?
His smile is calm and reassuring in return, holding none of the uncertainty her's currently contained.]
You should pretty sure of yourself.
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I'm sure. I just... want you to be happy.
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[It's a quiet admission, voice barely loud enough for the device to pick up.]
I do better when she's close to me.
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You make her happy, too.
[Words are really hard, so she hesitates again. It's a little strange having the conversation over the network, and she really wishes they could just speak in person. Then again, that wouldn't make any of this simpler, would it?]
And... She really cares about you.
[He knows how she feels, but that's probably as close to a flat out admission as she's going to get.]
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There's a pause, the smallest hint of hesitation before he speaks again, matching her wish that they could be together, that this conversation wasn't taking place over the devices but in person.]
Hope those powers of yours are right.
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I'm right this time.
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Want to bet?
[Either way it goes it's going to be a win for both of them, so why not up the stakes just a little?]
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Okay. What do you want to bet?
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I named the terms last time.
[It's your turn missy.]
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There are a million things she wants to ask for, but isn't brave enough to.]
Can I keep it a secret?
[She's half stalling and half trying to figure out what's safe to bet.]
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Pretty sure that's cheating.
[On one hand, what's the worse that she could ask for? And on the other, if he agrees, he's pretty much going to be at her mercy.
He's dense, but he's not that dense.]
If I win, I get to ask for something I want.
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Hmm. Are you going to ask for another secret?
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Not exactly.
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Well...
[She hesitates, then continues very quietly, her smile a little goofy.]
You don't need a bet for that.
[Stupid thing to say? Probably a stupid thing to say.]
1/3
Oh shit.
Oh. Shit.
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT.]
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PLEASE.
FOR THE LOVE OF SHIVA.
FIND. YOUR. CHILL.]
Spazzing complete
That went better than expected.]
Having some back up couldn't hurt.
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I guess not, but I think I'm going to win this time.
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