[He rocks backward, his hands grasping his ankles. His expression could either be considered thoughtful, or incredibly bored.]
I'm alone, and I've never been much of a fighter, or much of a runner for that matter. Figure my best chance at keeping this gravy train shambling along is to examine the worst scenarios so I can craft a contingency plan.
[At this, Nathan looks a bit more peppy.]
If there's anything I'm good at, it's thinking on my feet, and you can quote me on that one. Go ahead, give me something! And I'll tell you exactly what brilliance I'd use to escape unscathed!
[Nathan furrows his brow. This is an excellent question. An excellent question that he TOTALLY has an answer for because he's been paranoid about just this thing every time he stays in that goddamn creepy store.]
You mean aside from consulting my psychic spherical friend?
[He grins.]
I'd grenade bomb them with petroleum jelly! Their soft, shitty bodies won't be able to do anything when they're gobbed down with heavy sticky shit. This is a last resort, of course, because I can think of much better things to do with what I affectionately call my wank gunk, but sacrifices must be made in the event of flesh-craving stuffies.
[He pauses.]
Or I guess I could climb onto a table or something. I doubt their little knob hands would be very good at ascending furniture.
She's not even sure if that's worth bringing up, really. She's starting to think that every time she talks to him, there's going to be a baseline level of disgusting that she deals with. But she's still making a face.]
You're so gross.
[She still feels required to acknowledge it.]
What if they could climb and you didn't have enough petroleum jelly to stop all of them?
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no subject
Do you really want me to guess what horrible things you could find? Why?
[Come on, Nathan, you're supposed to be optimistic! And Cloud is back, so she's in too good of a mood to be that negative.]
no subject
[He rocks backward, his hands grasping his ankles. His expression could either be considered thoughtful, or incredibly bored.]
I'm alone, and I've never been much of a fighter, or much of a runner for that matter. Figure my best chance at keeping this gravy train shambling along is to examine the worst scenarios so I can craft a contingency plan.
[At this, Nathan looks a bit more peppy.]
If there's anything I'm good at, it's thinking on my feet, and you can quote me on that one. Go ahead, give me something! And I'll tell you exactly what brilliance I'd use to escape unscathed!
no subject
Hmm... What if...
[She pauses, trying to think of something really stupid.]
What if the stuffed animals in the toy store came to life and tried to eat you?
no subject
You mean aside from consulting my psychic spherical friend?
[He grins.]
I'd grenade bomb them with petroleum jelly! Their soft, shitty bodies won't be able to do anything when they're gobbed down with heavy sticky shit. This is a last resort, of course, because I can think of much better things to do with what I affectionately call my wank gunk, but sacrifices must be made in the event of flesh-craving stuffies.
[He pauses.]
Or I guess I could climb onto a table or something. I doubt their little knob hands would be very good at ascending furniture.
no subject
She's not even sure if that's worth bringing up, really. She's starting to think that every time she talks to him, there's going to be a baseline level of disgusting that she deals with. But she's still making a face.]
You're so gross.
[She still feels required to acknowledge it.]
What if they could climb and you didn't have enough petroleum jelly to stop all of them?
no subject
[Think fast, Nathan.]
I'd pee on them. They can't hurt me if I've marked them with my scent.
[He puts a finger to his temple. Aha! see how smart?]
Stuffed animals are still animals. And that's just animal mentality.
no subject
That... isn't how it works.
[Is this some weird way of cheating? Being gross to get her to move on to the next scenario?
...Okay, probably not.]