[Maybe something... hint-y? Maybe. It could be safe. Just testing the waters! She leans back again, crossing one leg over the other and fiddling with an earring absently.]
Well, do you remember that night at the Gold Saucer? When we saw the fireworks?
[Is that... good or bad? For the sake of her courage, she's going to go with good. She shoots him a shy smile.]
That was... Um...
[Spit it out, Tifa!]
That was the only... date I've ever been on.
[She says that last part all in a rush, her cheeks turning red again. And, okay. The only date she'd been on since she was thirteen, but do awkward dates when you're thirteen count? She doesn't think so.]
Of all the things he had been expecting to come from this silly little bet, that most definitely hadn't been one of them. Maybe he shouldn't have pushed so hard, maybe he should have just accepted the fact that she didn't like Vincent's cape and moved on.
And now it was too late. It was too late and the truth was out there, hanging heavily in the air between them and he should probably say something, anything.
A deep intake of breath and a slow, quiet exhale. There's a soft sort of expression that passes over his features, even if the combination of harsh artificial light and darkness makes it a little difficult to make out.]
She relaxes, gaze dropping to her lap momentarily. Her face still feels hot, but that... wasn't as difficult as she expected, somehow. Not that it gave her the hint that she had wanted, but she feels relieved nonetheless. Tifa glances up again, her smile softer.]
This conversation could have ended five minutes ago. He should have been happy when he got his secret. That should have been the end. Could have been the end. But no, he just had to go and tell her one in return and now everything was awkward and-
-that sure is a nice hole in the wall. He really, really likes that hole. If he squints it almost looks like a donkey. Strange.]
[Okay, his question is benign enough, but she knows him well enough by now to pick up on his discomfort, so... Definitely time to abort. She nods quickly in response, gaze dropping to stare intently at the table.]
Um, yeah, but...
[UGH]
I guess there are more important things to worry about.
Would, even, if it wasn't for the way her eyes fall away and the sudden air of awkwardness that falls over them.
And he knows. He's not dense enough not to know, not to have figured it out. In so many ways, he wishes things could be different in that moment. Wishes they were back home, wishes that there weren't so many things standing in the way. Wishes that he could tell her that it's alright. That he knows. That he's always known. That he's ready to start over, to start new, with her at his side. Ready to make up for all of the time they had lost, ready to make things right.
Ready to be there with her, to accept everything she had to offer and to offer it all in return.
But they're not home. They're not and there's so much in their way, so many other things that require their attention.]
Tifa- [Voice soft, gentle, meant only for the two of them.] Don't give up on me, okay?
[She should have never brought this up in the first place, or tried to hint at it. Every time she gets close to telling him, she panics and backs off, and maybe there's a reason for that. As much as Angel says there's no better time to do this but now, Tifa is also fully aware that Angel can be something of a blind romantic, at least about some things. And as much as she tries to convince herself that her worries are unfounded, she still has a laundry list of them. Maybe she should have just trusted her instincts instead of trying to force it. Now she's just made Cloud uncomfortable, and she wishes she could take it back.
His response catches her completely off guard, though, and she glances up, struggling to read his expression in the low light. It's hard to know what he's trying to say, even if she certainly knows what she wants it to mean. Tifa doesn't respond right away, biting her lip for an instant as she thinks, as though repeating that sentence over and over in her head will give her some sort of magical insight. It doesn't, of course.]
What do you mean?
[She keeps her voice low, too, painfully aware that Kunsel could easily overhear them if he wanted to.]
[A small pause, a deep intake of breathe, eyes finally lifting from up and away from that expanse of wall, searching and finding her own in the darkness that surrounded them.]
Don't want you to think I don't want to be with you. Now just isn't the right time.
[For a split second, she looks terribly hopeful, and then he finishes, and...]
Oh.
[It's an odd mix of emotions, relief and elation and disappointment, all at once. He wants to be with her! Just not right now. There's a small part of her that wants to say maybe they could try, if he really feels the same way. Logically, though, she knows that's wishful thinking. There are just too many things standing in the way, and too many unknowns here for them to make it work.
She gets it. She's just not sure what to say in response. Her eyes drop from his and she nods again, suddenly feeling silly. Realistically, what else could she have expected? This wasn't a rejection, though, right? Not really. It's good, mostly, even if it wasn't fully the answer she'd been hoping for.]
[Something clenches painfully deep within his chest, twisting and pounding against his ribs as those eyes fall away, as those words finally come. It's far from perfect, far from ideal, far from what he knows she wants. Nothing within this place was certain. Nothing was promised. Allowing them to be together, to move forward would only make things more painful in the end.
The last thing he wanted to do, had ever wanted to do, was hurt her, to cause her more pain. Yet, somehow, it seemed as if that was all he had ever done. She deserved so much more than that, so much more than him. Someone who was strong enough to protect her, to stay by her side even when things were difficult.
She deserved so much better than him.]
When you go back, stay by my side, alright? I do better when you're there.
[Being disappointed about this seems unfair, somehow. He's being honest, and she knows where they stand, which is all she ever really wanted. And he feels the same way she does! Which is good. This is good, and she's being ridiculous, and whatever negative feelings she's having she just needs to push aside.
She looks up again, smiling softly, and while it might be a little uncertain, at least it isn't forced.]
I can still stay by your side here, too.
[Whether or not her feelings are reciprocated or they're together, he's still her best friend. Leaving was never even an option she considered.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[At least she can dodge telling him a secret for a while longer this way.]
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[It wouldn't have been the same if he tossed you when you expected it and knew what was going to happen, Tifa. You can't argue with this logic.]
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[Tifa, that's... stupid. But really, she's just arguing to be silly and tease him, because she desperately needs something silly right now.]
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[Good choice of words there, Cloud.]
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Being a cheater isn't, either.
[Yeah! Take that!]
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[So there.]
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[Fine, she'll come up with something!]
Hmm...
[Maybe something... hint-y? Maybe. It could be safe. Just testing the waters! She leans back again, crossing one leg over the other and fiddling with an earring absently.]
Well, do you remember that night at the Gold Saucer? When we saw the fireworks?
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Kind of a hard thing to forget.
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That was... Um...
[Spit it out, Tifa!]
That was the only... date I've ever been on.
[She says that last part all in a rush, her cheeks turning red again. And, okay. The only date she'd been on since she was thirteen, but do awkward dates when you're thirteen count? She doesn't think so.]
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Of all the things he had been expecting to come from this silly little bet, that most definitely hadn't been one of them. Maybe he shouldn't have pushed so hard, maybe he should have just accepted the fact that she didn't like Vincent's cape and moved on.
And now it was too late. It was too late and the truth was out there, hanging heavily in the air between them and he should probably say something, anything.
A deep intake of breath and a slow, quiet exhale. There's a soft sort of expression that passes over his features, even if the combination of harsh artificial light and darkness makes it a little difficult to make out.]
Me too.
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She relaxes, gaze dropping to her lap momentarily. Her face still feels hot, but that... wasn't as difficult as she expected, somehow. Not that it gave her the hint that she had wanted, but she feels relieved nonetheless. Tifa glances up again, her smile softer.]
It was nice, though.
LMAO I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR TURN
Could've been worse.
NOPE U NERD
Except she can't think of anything on the fly, so she just shifts her weight.]
Oh, um... I guess so.
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Kind of surprising. You were pretty popular.
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I guess there wasn't anyone I was interested in.
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[Cloud, why are you handing out relationship advice you know nothing about them.]
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But, like every other time, she chokes, hands fidgeting in her lap.]
Well...
[Suck it up, Tifa! Just do it!]
I think... there might be someone.
[Lame.]
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OH SHIT.
OH. FUCKING. SHIT.
This conversation could have ended five minutes ago. He should have been happy when he got his secret. That should have been the end. Could have been the end. But no, he just had to go and tell her one in return and now everything was awkward and-
-that sure is a nice hole in the wall. He really, really likes that hole. If he squints it almost looks like a donkey. Strange.]
Anyone I know?
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Um, yeah, but...
[UGH]
I guess there are more important things to worry about.
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Should end it there.
Would, even, if it wasn't for the way her eyes fall away and the sudden air of awkwardness that falls over them.
And he knows. He's not dense enough not to know, not to have figured it out. In so many ways, he wishes things could be different in that moment. Wishes they were back home, wishes that there weren't so many things standing in the way. Wishes that he could tell her that it's alright. That he knows. That he's always known. That he's ready to start over, to start new, with her at his side. Ready to make up for all of the time they had lost, ready to make things right.
Ready to be there with her, to accept everything she had to offer and to offer it all in return.
But they're not home. They're not and there's so much in their way, so many other things that require their attention.]
Tifa- [Voice soft, gentle, meant only for the two of them.] Don't give up on me, okay?
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His response catches her completely off guard, though, and she glances up, struggling to read his expression in the low light. It's hard to know what he's trying to say, even if she certainly knows what she wants it to mean. Tifa doesn't respond right away, biting her lip for an instant as she thinks, as though repeating that sentence over and over in her head will give her some sort of magical insight. It doesn't, of course.]
What do you mean?
[She keeps her voice low, too, painfully aware that Kunsel could easily overhear them if he wanted to.]
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[A small pause, a deep intake of breathe, eyes finally lifting from up and away from that expanse of wall, searching and finding her own in the darkness that surrounded them.]
Don't want you to think I don't want to be with you. Now just isn't the right time.
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Oh.
[It's an odd mix of emotions, relief and elation and disappointment, all at once. He wants to be with her! Just not right now. There's a small part of her that wants to say maybe they could try, if he really feels the same way. Logically, though, she knows that's wishful thinking. There are just too many things standing in the way, and too many unknowns here for them to make it work.
She gets it. She's just not sure what to say in response. Her eyes drop from his and she nods again, suddenly feeling silly. Realistically, what else could she have expected? This wasn't a rejection, though, right? Not really. It's good, mostly, even if it wasn't fully the answer she'd been hoping for.]
I, um...
[Great reply. Nothing really seems adequate, though.]
I understand.
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The last thing he wanted to do, had ever wanted to do, was hurt her, to cause her more pain. Yet, somehow, it seemed as if that was all he had ever done. She deserved so much more than that, so much more than him. Someone who was strong enough to protect her, to stay by her side even when things were difficult.
She deserved so much better than him.]
When you go back, stay by my side, alright? I do better when you're there.
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She looks up again, smiling softly, and while it might be a little uncertain, at least it isn't forced.]
I can still stay by your side here, too.
[Whether or not her feelings are reciprocated or they're together, he's still her best friend. Leaving was never even an option she considered.]
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